Where I’ve Been
And what I’ve learned in my son’s first three months of life
Perhaps some of my loyal readers failed to notice my absence over the past couple of months and to those of you I say: How dare you? But to all my readers, those who missed me and those who didn’t, I report back with some news: In late November, my husband and I welcomed our first baby, and I’ve been away from work adjusting to parenthood. (Although in a very real sense, I haven’t been away from work at all…)
I’ll have some more updates soon about a new series I’m launching here at Countercultured, but in the meantime, this is the first in a set of newsletters that I plan to send once a month, sharing what I’ve been thinking about recently. These updates will likely have little to do with politics or my other typical topics of interest and will instead focus on what I’ve read, listened to, and watched over the past month. (I may even get into what I’ve been cooking, because cooking is a big part of what I do offline.)
It’s actually surprising how much reading, watching, etc. I’ve been able to do in recent months while simultaneously learning other skills like feeding, diapering, burping, and swaddling a baby. I’ve also been learning more about infant sleep than I previously knew existed. Apparently, babies don’t come with how-to manuals, and frankly that’s a bit unfair. Nor do they present you with timetables explaining when they’d prefer to eat and sleep — it’s all a delightful mystery, and the solutions appear to change by the day.
But my son’s first few months of life also brought some very pleasant lessons, including that the best kind of Advent and Christmas season is a sleep-deprived one during which you get to snuggle a newborn. Also, there’s nothing better than making your baby laugh once he learns how (even if it gives him hiccups for the ensuing twenty minutes nearly every time).
Despite the onset of sleepless nights, my husband and I have managed to keep up our hobby of visiting historical sites, with our son in tow. We took a fairly ambitious trip to Colonial Williamsburg when he was just two months old, and he seemed to enjoy the adventure. More recently, right here in Fredericksburg, we visited the Mary Washington house, which is the original home of George Washington’s mother Mary in the later part of her life. The historical society running the home has identified and preserved a few objects that belonged to Mary, including her teapot, which she reportedly used to serve Marquis de Lafayette when he visited town. He came through Fredericksburg supposedly with the express purpose of meeting George’s mother. Her house also has a mirror that she bequeathed to George but that he never got around to picking up.
Among the more interesting facts I learned at the house: Apparently during the Revolutionary War, General Cornwallis hatched a plot to bring his army to Fredericksburg and capture Washington’s family members as a way of getting at Washington. Washington and his siblings grew up on a plantation in Stafford County, right across the river from Fredericksburg. His sister Betty Washington Lewis, brother Charles Washington, and mother Mary all lived in downtown Fredericksburg during the Revolution. But when Cornwallis heard that the Washingtons had fled town, he abandoned the plan. If you’re ever in the area, check it out. And if you enjoy American history, there are few better places to visit than Fredericksburg. More to come on that in future newsletters.
Despite how much work it is to care for a baby (though very fun work) I managed to do a lot more than I expected in my free time. Here’s some of what I got up to:
What I’ve been reading:
My reading style has always been a bit more on the unfocused side. You might call it “boom and bust.” When I find a book I love, I read it quickly and with great focus. But finding titles to stick to takes a lot of effort because there are too many good options to distract me. I love wandering through the library and picking up titles that look interesting, but I often bring them all home and read a few pages of each without ever finding one to stick with.
I don’t intend to change this habit. I enjoy taking an interest in and learning about a wide variety of topics. And I’ll always abide by the philosophy of, “Life’s too short to read books you don’t enjoy.” I’m also working on being okay with abandoning books that I’m reading only out of a vague sense of obligation but not enjoying. You don’t need to read certain books that “everyone is supposed to read” according to some unknown authority.
But I also want to be more disciplined about finishing books once I’ve decided they’re worthwhile. My “currently reading” book stacks littered around the house quickly expand from three to twelve books if I’m not careful, and no one can thoughtfully read twelve books at a time. My hope is that sharing about my reading here will help me focus on reading at least a few books all the way through each month.
Just before my son was born last November, I devoured Ina Garten’s new memoir Be Ready When the Luck Happens. I’ve watched her show for years and enjoyed learning about her unconventional path to becoming a cook. It reminded me a bit of the story of Julia Child, whose My Life in France is one of my favorite memoirs.
Just after my son was born, I read a book called Motherhood by Kathryn Rombs. It helped prompt some deep thinking about what it means to be a mother and about how to develop a coherent, intentional philosophy toward one’s motherhood. I also read Wendell Berry’s novel Hannah Coulter, which I’ve read before but not in recent years. I realized in hindsight that the book has much more to offer when you read it as a wife and mother. I’m especially impressed with how skillfully Berry writes the female narrator’s perspective.
I’ve read and enjoyed a few of Willa Cather’s more famous titles in the past, so I picked up her Shadows on the Rock last month and finished it in a few days of dedicated reading. It’s more a series of character vignettes than a true novel, but it’s captivating. I plan to write another piece eventually with some more thoughts about the book.
What I’ve been listening to:
My husband and I decided to read the Chronicles of Narnia aloud together, keeping us sane during middle of the night wakeups. I’m including it here rather than in the reading section because reading aloud feels more like listening than reading.
I’ve read the whole Narnia series several times, but Nick missed out on it as a kid. He read all seven books a few years ago and devoured them probably a bit too quickly to fully appreciate them. After each having read the series in publication order, we decided to read through chronologically this time to see how it feels. Given the hefty debate on the topic of Narnia reading order, I’d already formed a somewhat strong opinion on this going into our project. I’ll report back with my final opinion on which order they should be read in, but I’m already feeling pretty strongly that my original take was right. Relatedly, does anyone have a good case for why I should like The Horse and His Boy? It’s a slog…
I love the “Evangelization & Culture” podcast hosted by Tod Worner of the Word on Fire Institute. I was a guest on the podcast myself shortly before I went on maternity leave; you can listen to that episode here or on your streaming platform of choice. The episode was called “Why Mary Matters” because Tod and I discussed, in part, a talk I gave (and an essay I wrote based on that talk) about Mary’s role as a witness for us in living the faithful Christian life.
I recommend diving into the archives of the E&C podcast, because there’s something for everyone, and the topics are timeless. Tod is a thoughtful interviewer, and his guests are superb. I recently listened to an older episode with Haley Stewart, who manages Word on Fire’s Votive imprint for children’s literature, and enjoyed their discussion about what makes for a good children’s story and the role of books in shaping children’s moral imagination.
What I’ve been watching:
Way back in December, which feels like another lifetime, we watched lots of Christmas movies. Although it’s a bit out of season now that spring is on the way, here’s an old column of mine on one my all-time favorites, While You Were Sleeping. Long story short: It’s an excellent movie for any time of year, not just Christmas.
Back when my son slept for hours during the day (RIP to the days when he took long naps so easily) we rewatched Stanley Tucci’s CNN series “Searching for Italy.” Tucci is one of my favorite actors, and I so enjoyed his memoir from a few years ago, Taste: My Life Through Food, which I reviewed at the time. The Italy series is fantastic, tracking his travels to learn about the history and culture of each region, especially as it pertains to the local cuisine. The show was cancelled after a couple of seasons, but he plans to revive it with National Geographic.
In 2025, we’ve been making an effort to watch a movie at least once a week because we usually don’t get around to movies unless we specifically plan for it. We’ve been on a bit of a Meryl Streep kick, watching The Devil Wears Prada, The Iron Lady, and Julie & Julia, the last of which is one of my favorite movies. Two of those three also happen to feature Stanley Tucci. If you love food and cooking like I do, I highly recommend reading Taste and following him on Instagram.
By the way, I’d welcome messages from readers — thoughts, ideas, or just plain old greetings are always appreciated. If you’re so inclined, just use the button below. Thanks as always for reading!